Day One.

When I was a kid, I felt guilty for only praying to God when I needed something - help with school, with friends or bullies, with boys or teachers, anything. Every time I bowed my head my cheeks would flush, ashamed to be asking for more of what I didn't deserve in the first place. Eventually I just stopped praying (in the conventional sense) and made an inner resolution to give thanks more often, so that when I DID have to ask for something I had a history of being grateful against which to juxtaposition my request.

Today is the first day of 2009; the year of my high school ten-year reunion, my 28th year of existence, hopefully the great "getting-together-of-my-shit." But last night when the final stroke of 2008 passed, I made no resolutions for the impending 365 day run. Resolutions are just little self-prayers, requests we beseech upon ourselves to lose weight, stop smoking, be a better friend, etc. And I made no requests because I desire no extreme changes in my existence or the lifestyle I maintain to create it. 2008 was a year of relief in and of itself - the struggle to come back up for air, recreate my world closer to the ideal of what I wanted it to be, to hold still and gather my thoughts. And it was good.

I am grateful for my existence and everything and everyone in it; asking for anything more would just be greedy. If this life continues to become more beautiful and complex on its own exponentially increasing scale, it will be because that's what was supposed to happen, not because of a silent self-prayer in a haze of champagne.

On with the show :)