Random Text-Poll of the Day:

Today my random text-message poll was for my female cohorts. I asked them what, in the height of their singledom, got them laid the most. Was it a lucky charm? A hidden talent? I promised the winner a pizza party. The answers were, in the order recieved:

1) "Boozing"
2) "helicopter crash story, hands down. and sweetie, i still am @ the height of my game"
3) "maybe my seductive back massages :)" (*I feel it is important to mention this person also has huge breasts, which she sometimes incorporates into the massages.)
4) "Having you live on my couch :) I got more ass that summer than any other time. Do I win?"
5) "(over)confidence, music festivals/bar shows, and this little black skirt! Hehe"
6) "Lucky red panties."
7) "Honestly? I got laid the most when I quit being insecure and realized that I was actually pretty hot. Also, silver go-go boots."

All of these answers were spectacular and made me smile, until I thought of having to pay for multiple pizza parties. Obviously a clear winner needed to be chosen, but how? On merits of the most clever, or the most successful in intentions? Fortunately for me, the answer to both requisites were the same: my friend who crashed the helicopter (for her job, no less), also gets, in the immortal words of Nate Dogg, more ass than a toilet seat. Though I can't lie, the silver go-go boots were a close second.

Also, I feel the need to clarify Respondent #4's answer: she was in no way implying that I was the source of or reason for aforementioned abundance of ass-getting the summer of 2004; I just happened to be living on her couch during this blissful three months of her life. Strangely, however, her string of luck ended immediately after I moved out and got my own apartment.

The moral of the story is: if I ever have to live on your couch, there is a bright side. Be patient.